Sara, I thought that you did a great job revising your piece. I liked your animation before the revisions too, but love your additions as well! You have a really creative concept here and it conveys a strong sense of individuality! The most interesting visual element of your animation is the petal beginning as a drawing, but then transforms into a real petal! That is my favorite aspect from both videos--revised or not!! Your animation flows really well and your concept is extremely clear! At the beginning, when the flower develops into a flower, that conveys a good usage of time. I liked that your revised piece had another chapter to it! The paper peony in the bowl was a nice touch. Maybe you could add a few more pictures before the petals form a peony because that would create a more gradual transition. This is only a minor suggestion, but maybe you could add something at the very end after you show the large peony in the bowl. I am not sure what, but that would help to wrap up your story. Other than that very nice job and very creative!
Sara, I really like the revisions you did to puzzles and games! The transitions between games looked smooth and well done. I also really liked the different angles you used, it gave the video a personal feel, like we were there playing the games ourselves.I was left wanting to see more transitions into other types of games/puzzles. There is definitely room to expand with this idea and create more of an ending. Overall I think this video has a awesome concept and is presented really nicely.
Dance: I really liked the concept of this piece and how you showed seperated dance steps. i also liked how you switched between black and white images to color and how it provided a flashing quality, very playful. what might be good is to maybe shorten the duration because it seems a little slow and that might make it flow better, or add some shots that show more transition between steps. i like the label of the bottom of the shoe at the end but, maybe have it be both shoes to show that the dance is off her feet an has stopped, it might help to make the movie feel more complete. Flowers: this is my favorite out of the three you have posted. i love the concept of the flowers transforming, and the multiple ways you make theme change. it is also visually astounding, i can not get over how you made the drawing of the petal truely look like it was transforming into a real one the second it is off the page. the timing is good but maybe think about mixing up durations so that it is faster in some scenes than in others. also if you can maybe try to get a picture of the peal as it fall because it is a little confusing when it just suddenly disapears and then flowers bloom. i like the ending, it seems pretty complete but maybe have the paper bloom close of move off screen to finish it off.
Puzzles and Games: i really like the addictions you made to this piece. i love that you connect the letters of scrabble with to the sorry game and i love the concept of making the games and puzzles come to life and play. the ending feels a little unfinished,what might help is maybe have the winning sorry piece some how connect back with the face in the cross word puzzle either draw on the same face or have the sorry pieces make up the face. Also during the sorry game maybe speed up the duration a little because it seems a little slow could be smoothed out by that.
Excellent suggestions from your classmates. I also think the color/black and white is a fun way to use animation... and your classmates made a good suggestion-- faster might make it more like a sort of flashing effect.
A general suggestion, for at least the first two videos... take careful note of what is in the background, and what is in the edges of the frame, because it can be distracting. You might be able to fix some things with cropping...
The revision of the crossword piece was a significant improvement. It broadens the idea to be an almost stream of conscious meditation on games--from the crossword, to scrabble, to sorry. Like your classmates, I think it seems unfinished-- perhaps it moves onto a new game, or conencts back to the crossword, or maybe connects the idea of home to some place in the real world...
The revision of the flower piece also takes us to new places. I love how you incorporated the ideas from critique into a new chapter where the petal now becomes flowers that magically "grow." While i like the segment about the petal that becomes the paper flower, it feels disconnected... either create more connection (perhaps the petal floats... thread or fishing line is good for his effect) or perhaps it goes back into the drawing...
Comments on your Flower animation---
ReplyDeleteSara, I thought that you did a great job revising your piece. I liked your animation before the revisions too, but love your additions as well! You have a really creative concept here and it conveys a strong sense of individuality! The most interesting visual element of your animation is the petal beginning as a drawing, but then transforms into a real petal! That is my favorite aspect from both videos--revised or not!! Your animation flows really well and your concept is extremely clear! At the beginning, when the flower develops into a flower, that conveys a good usage of time. I liked that your revised piece had another chapter to it! The paper peony in the bowl was a nice touch. Maybe you could add a few more pictures before the petals form a peony because that would create a more gradual transition. This is only a minor suggestion, but maybe you could add something at the very end after you show the large peony in the bowl. I am not sure what, but that would help to wrap up your story. Other than that very nice job and very creative!
Sara, I really like the revisions you did to puzzles and games! The transitions between games looked smooth and well done. I also really liked the different angles you used, it gave the video a personal feel, like we were there playing the games ourselves.I was left wanting to see more transitions into other types of games/puzzles. There is definitely room to expand with this idea and create more of an ending. Overall I think this video has a awesome concept and is presented really nicely.
ReplyDeleteDance:
ReplyDeleteI really liked the concept of this piece and how you showed seperated dance steps. i also liked how you switched between black and white images to color and how it provided a flashing quality, very playful. what might be good is to maybe shorten the duration because it seems a little slow and that might make it flow better, or add some shots that show more transition between steps. i like the label of the bottom of the shoe at the end but, maybe have it be both shoes to show that the dance is off her feet an has stopped, it might help to make the movie feel more complete.
Flowers:
this is my favorite out of the three you have posted. i love the concept of the flowers transforming, and the multiple ways you make theme change. it is also visually astounding, i can not get over how you made the drawing of the petal truely look like it was transforming into a real one the second it is off the page. the timing is good but maybe think about mixing up durations so that it is faster in some scenes than in others. also if you can maybe try to get a picture of the peal as it fall because it is a little confusing when it just suddenly disapears and then flowers bloom. i like the ending, it seems pretty complete but maybe have the paper bloom close of move off screen to finish it off.
Puzzles and Games:
i really like the addictions you made to this piece. i love that you connect the letters of scrabble with to the sorry game and i love the concept of making the games and puzzles come to life and play. the ending feels a little unfinished,what might help is maybe have the winning sorry piece some how connect back with the face in the cross word puzzle either draw on the same face or have the sorry pieces make up the face. Also during the sorry game maybe speed up the duration a little because it seems a little slow could be smoothed out by that.
Excellent suggestions from your classmates. I also think the color/black and white is a fun way to use animation... and your classmates made a good suggestion-- faster might make it more like a sort of flashing effect.
ReplyDeleteA general suggestion, for at least the first two videos... take careful note of what is in the background, and what is in the edges of the frame, because it can be distracting. You might be able to fix some things with cropping...
The revision of the crossword piece was a significant improvement. It broadens the idea to be an almost stream of conscious meditation on games--from the crossword, to scrabble, to sorry. Like your classmates, I think it seems unfinished-- perhaps it moves onto a new game, or conencts back to the crossword, or maybe connects the idea of home to some place in the real world...
The revision of the flower piece also takes us to new places. I love how you incorporated the ideas from critique into a new chapter where the petal now becomes flowers that magically "grow." While i like the segment about the petal that becomes the paper flower, it feels disconnected... either create more connection (perhaps the petal floats... thread or fishing line is good for his effect) or perhaps it goes back into the drawing...